In our fast-paced world, the art of fully showing up—both at work and in our personal lives—has become a revolutionary act. As a Human Resources professional, I spent 20 years watching people navigate the tightrope of work and life. We’re all trying to balance, aren’t we? Trying to be productive, successful, and, if we’re lucky, maybe even a little bit happy.
But what the lesson life keeps slapping me up the side of the head with is true fulfillment comes from presence. Otherwise, the moments of your life are just passing you by in a parade of emails, to do lists, and “I should…” moments. As Tuseet Jha says in his Tiny Budda article, “Time might be important, but our presence is paramount.”
What Does Presence Even Mean?
Presence isn’t some mystical, unattainable state, nor is it just about merely showing up. It’s about connection and full engagement—truly being in the moments that matter. It’s putting down the phone, silencing the inner critic, and connecting with the person in front of you—whether that’s a colleague, a loved one, or even yourself.
A single moment of presence in my life remains vivid to this day. While in school one day I once noticed a girl from my class crying in the bathroom. We weren’t close, but I knew who she was. I could have walked past her, but instead, I stopped to check in.
She had just faced one of those heartbreaks that feel monumental in youth—a boy she liked had turned her down. I did the usual things: gave her a hug, reassured her that he was foolish not to see how incredible she was, and most importantly, I stayed fully present and listened. Years later, she reached out to tell me that she credits that moment with helping her graduate high school. For the first time in her life, she felt truly seen.
Our daily lives are a rich tapestry woven together by moments of joy, struggle, and beauty. When we show up fully, each day becomes an opportunity to live deliberately and authentically. It’s about finding joy in the mundane, embracing the messy parts of life, and daring to be seen. Most importantly it’s about being there because you don’t know who might need you to just be you that day.
Presence isn’t about having time. It’s about making time—by choosing to be exactly where you are. And that choice? It changes everything.
Why Presence Matters More Than Productivity
We’ve been sold this line that we can do and be it all, all at the same time. We’ve been conditioned to measure our worth by output – more meetings, more emails, more checked-off boxes. But here’s the truth: being everywhere all the time often means we’re fully nowhere at all.
Constant distraction disconnects us from ourselves and from others. It erodes empathy, stifles creativity, and leaves us feeling perpetually exhausted and unfulfilled. Research suggests that what truly makes an impact isn’t how much we do—it’s how we show up. This is the power of presence.
According to a Harvard study, people spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing. And when our minds wander, we’re not just distracted—we’re less happy.
Moments of presence, however small, are the building blocks of meaningful connections – both with others and ourselves. They’re the moments that fill our lives with purpose and joy. Unfortunately, while presence is a simple concept, it isn’t always easy to do.
Strategies to Overcome Barriers to Presence
There are many obstacles that can keep us from showing up fully. The fear of judgment, the pressure to conform, and the busy pace of modern life often make it easier to retreat rather than engage meaningfully. Here’s some ideas for overcoming common barriers to presence:
- Limit Distractions: Dedicate time to disconnect from digital noise and reconnect with your thoughts and feelings. This can be as simple as turning off notifications during meals or meetings.
- Single-Task Like a Boss: Multitasking is a myth. Studies show it reduces productivity by up to 40% (American Psychological Association). Instead, commit to one thing at a time. Close extra tabs. Silence notifications. Be fully in what you’re doing.
- Be Critical of Urgent Requests: Once in my career I spent an entire year working hourly. My department was on a limited budget so I couldn’t exceed those hours without another department picking up the cost. When people outside my team would come to me with an “urgent” task I’d let them know how many hours it would take and the extra cost. After an entire year, only one team ever found their task truly urgent enough to pay the extra cost for my time. Always be questioning urgency!
- Prioritize: Remember that what gets your attention and focus is a choice! Review your to do lists regularly and note what items actually have to get done that day. Try to keep that number of items to no more than three to five. It’s life changing, trust me.
- Embrace Imperfection: Recognize that perfection is an impossibility. Instead, focus on being whole and authentically engaged in each moment. Remember, imperfection is a testament to the subtle beauty of being human.
- Redefine Success: Presence isn’t about getting more done—it’s about experiencing life more fully. Success isn’t just about reaching goals. It’s about how we feel on the way there.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Presence
The greatest hurdle of all though is that presence requires us to be deliberate and conscious about how we are leading our lives. It doesn’t just happen – as much as I wish that were not the case! Here are some ideas to help you grow presence in your life:
- Create Rituals of Connection: Whether it’s a morning coffee with a friend or a reflective walk alone, rituals help ground you in your experience and invite deeper engagement with your day.
- Mindful Moments: Start small. Take a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness. Breathe deeply, focus on your senses, and quiet the noise in your mind.
- Active Listening: When someone is speaking, truly listen. Put away distractions, make eye contact, and listen with the intention to understand, not just to respond. Use one or two follow up questions before formulating a response.
- Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy and distract you from what truly matters. Protect your time and prioritize presence.
- Reflective Practice: Take time at the end of each day to reflect, or even journal, on moments where you felt present and moments where you didn’t. What contributed to each?
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with individuals and communities that value authenticity. Sharing experiences with others who are on the same journey can reaffirm your commitment to being present.
Ultimately, the power of presence lies in its simplicity. It’s about choosing to be fully present in the here and now. It’s about deliberately and consciously choosing to connect, to listen, and to love. And in doing so, we discover the true richness of work and life.
The Ripple Effect of Presence
When we show up fully, we lead better. We connect deeper. We create moments that matter and a culture of connection, empathy, and authenticity. Most importantly, our presence inspires others to do the same and we create a ripple effect. Consider the following moments of possible connections:
Think about a difficult conversation with a colleague. Instead of retreating behind a wall of defensiveness, what if you chose to be present? What if you listened with an open heart, asked honest questions, and shared your own experiences?
Or consider a moment with your children. Instead of madly responding to emails or cleaning the house while they play, what if you truly engaged with them, entered their world, and savored the joy of the moment?
Presence matters. In our workplaces, presence fosters collaboration, creativity, and trust. In our homes, it deepens our relationships and strengthens our bonds.
Conclusion: The Transformative Impact of Presence
Whether it’s the boardroom, a coffee shop conversation, or a quiet evening at home, showing up fully can transform our relationships, our careers, and our personal growth. That’s the power of presence.
When you allow yourself to be present, you invite transformation. You start to see that every interaction is an opportunity, every conversation a lesson, and every moment a chance to create lasting change. In the end, it’s not just about being at work or at home—it’s about being in life.
What’s one small way you can practice presence today? Drop a comment and let’s start the conversation!
